Stefan’s Diaries: The Craving Chapter 29

Her name was the mynah bird M. She was a fastnessy ship and a thing of beauty, with silken lines and white sails. Her wooden mast was oiled to a sheen, boasting smart red flags that snapped in the breeze.I stood at the prow and closed my look, imagining our journey. The stinging salt business line and the bright yellow lie would whip my cheeks red as the Mina cut through waves, leaving white foam and spray in her wake. teensy silver fish would glint in the water system below in their hurry to get out of the way.On our travels we would see tiny skiffs cross the water loaded up with bananas and rum in the West Indies. Wed trade for spices in India. Id finally see Italy, walk through the Sistine Chapel, marvel in front of the Duomo, and discombobulate Chianti straight from the vineyard.Maybe maybe this would be a new way of life for me. Traveling at the speed of water rather than confining myself to the shadows. Id neer stay in one port for too long, outrunning expiration and my curse. Sailors usually had no friends just the men they crewed with I would fit right in.But thus I opened my pumps, my fantasy evaporating into the heavy midnight that surrounded me. A dense cloud cover obscured the sky and any stars embedded there failed to g lightenter through. The Mina slipped silently out to sea, cutting the oily water with barely a hiss.This was the vampires realm. Though my ring allowed me to walk in the daylight, my world goed in Acheronticness. It was then, while the sun slumbered, that I hunted, evaded enemies, spewed curses, broke promises, and gave myself over to hate. We had escaped Klauss minion, but we hadnt defeated him. He and his master were becalm out there, somewhere, planning on future torture and terminal for me and Damon.Lexi came up on deck behind me and touched my shoulder.Were en route to San Francisco, she verbalize quietly. Ive not been there in a while. But youll love the fogginess and dismal weather. Great for brooding. She gave me a thin smile. And I can tell youre sacking to be quite the brooder.I leaned against the deck rail. I didnt have the touchwood to tell her that there would never be a place for me, that I would never fit. And I didnt deserve to, after all the lives Id ended.The night wind frowzled my thick brown hair and Lexi tucked it behind my ear.He said an eye for an eye, I began.Yes. Well. Lexi took a deep sigh and looked serious for a moment, eyes narrowing. This is a fast ship and it will take him time to figure out our manifest. Besides the legal cargo of tea and coffee, theres a sizable incumbrance of opium theyre planning to pick up in Frisco. The captain failed to register with the dock master, so it will be a while before anyone figures out where we braid tail to.No. I mean yes, thats good. I rubbed a sudden spray of water from my eyes. But I meant he killed the people that were supposed to be our wives, because his Katherine was killed.Lexi nodded, shivering.And then he gra bbed you and was going to kill you and me, and probably Damon, in a church, just like Katherine was killed.Lexi narrowed her eyes. Im not sure I understand where youre going with this.If he was being so particular about whom he killed and in what manner, why didnt he set the place on fire?Lexi blinked. I cut her work through the logic. She stayed silent for a long time. I couldnt read her eyes, but still I felt embarrassed to be thinking of Katherine at a time like this.Stefan, she began. Please listen to me. There are all levels of evil among our kind. From that old thing that commits great atrocities to minor, horrible little things that exist just for their own pleasure, regardless of whom it hurts.Katherine wanted you to become a vampire. And look at the results. Do not weep overmuch for her, Stefan, or search for clues to her death or existence. Let her go. It is truly the best thing you can do.I turned my head away from her and looked toward the only star bright enough to shi ne through the cloud cover the North Star. Katherine was like that star fixed in place, a silent specter hanging above me, a bench mark against which to measure my progress. No matter my feelings toward her, she had made me, and she would be with me always. Were not all evil, I said, putting my arm around her. Youre not.Im a lot older than you, she said gently. And who I am now isnt who Ive always been. Youre not the only one with things to atone for, Stefan. But Ive made a vow to myself to be different.Oh, ugh. Vows. Damon stumbled onto deck loudly. By Our Lord, havent we made enough vows for a lifetime?The marriages were your idea, not mine, I pointed out.Waah, wahh, Im a vampire, I had a really great wedding, great champagne, my brother rescued me, and Im still tortured.He bounced off the deck rails, palming the smooth wood and propelling himself back to the other side, port to starboard back and forth until he reached us. The untrained eye would have marked him as drunk, but th ere was a telltale crimson smear in the corner of his lips. He was drunk with our escape, with our rescue, with the lifeblood of some poor cabin boy but not with drink. Not yet, at least.Yes, and speaking of rescues, Margaret I prompted.Damon sighed. When I confronted her about being able to withstand compulsion, Margaret admitted she was a temptress and said she would help me.Just like that? I asked skeptically.Damon rolled his eyes. In return for us leaving New York and never coming back in her lifetime, at least. And, this is the part that kills me, returning the dowries.Aw, Damon. Im so sorry, Lexi said, her sparkling eyes belying her serious tone. Your plan to fleece the rich didnt work out. Better luck next time. She punched him piano in the shoulder.We owe her our lives, I said seriously. She didnt have to help us at all. By all rights, she shouldnt have. The protection spell she cast around her and her economise do you think it will really keep them safe?I have to bel ieve. Either way, shes a better soul than you lot, Lexi pronounced.And speaking of better souls I said, barely suppressing a smile, what made you come back and rescue me? I thought you were hell-bent on never forgiving me and punishing me until the end of my days.Damons grungy eyes were veiled. Yes. Well, I meant every word. I will never forgive you. I will torture your every living moment.I shook my head, tamping rout the stirring of black rage inside me that wanted to shout to Damon that he may have lost the love of his life, but I lost a life that I loved. And a father, and a home.And a brother.But as quickly as the rage flowed in, it ebbed back out again, leaving me hollow. How could I dwell my brother to forgive me for turning him into a vampire when I couldnt forgive myself for it? He had once loved me, as I had once loved Katherine, but I would never, ever forgive her for making me what I was now.Damon took me by the shoulders. Besides, he added, the corners of his lips tu rning up, if anyone is going to kill you, its going to be me.Then, without another word, he leaped with vampiric speed to the deck rail itself, balancing without moving a muscle as the boat dipped and rocked in the water, as though he were the ships figurehead, carved in cold marble.He lifted his hand in salute. Ill be seeing you, brother.Then, before I could even utter his name, he stepped off the rail and plunged into the dark water below.I raced to the edge of the boat and looked at the churning water. But my brother didnt resurface. Lexi and I stood there for what felt like an eternity, until we were so far from shore and sky that it felt as though we were suspended in blackness.Then, when the sun finally peeked its red head over the watery horizon, we went inside the dimly lit cabin to face our future.